Monday, July 13, 2009

Richt Takes Kiffin Hunting to Show There are no Hard Feelings

Mark Richt, to show there are no hard feelings, invited Lane Kiffin to go Duck hunting last weekend. They decided to hunt a small estuary on the southern edge of the Cherokee National forest, right along the Georgia Tennessee state line.

As the chatted about football in the SEC and took turns grounding fowl, Kiffin explained to Richt that all of the craziness was just an act, an act to get publicity for Kiffin's program. Kiffin, caught up in defending his master plan, shot out of turn. The duck was felled but an argument ensued as to who had fired the deadly shot.

Kiffin pleaded his case passionately. Richt could have cared less, but played along, finally telling the young Kiffin "look, if it landed in Georgia, the bird is mine, if it landed in Tennessee, the bird is yours." The coaches agreed. As they walked over, it became apparent neither could be sure which state the duck landed in.

Rather than argue, Richt suggested they settle this they way SEC coaches did back in the old days. He explained that the old coaches would determine matters such as this by kicking each other in their privates as hard as possible. The last coach standing would win.

Lane bragged, "My father told me about such things, I really appreciate you bringing me into the fold."

Richt replied, "That's great, Junior. Let's get started. Now the oldest coach always has the honors."

Junior, beside himself with glee at being initiated into the inner circle of SEC coaches, eagerly stated, "Give it your best shot, old man."

As the Junior Kiffin assumed the position, Richt backed up about 5 paces, gathered himself and sprinted towards the young coach unleashing a kick, so hard and true, it would make Rex Robinson proud. Kiffin dropped to the soggy ground and rolled in pain. Between coughs he could be heard letting out whimpers resembling those of a beaten hound dog.

After about ten minutes of wallowing on the ground with bodily fluids dripping from his mouth, the young coach was able to gather himself and stand. "Oh, you got me good, Coach, yes sir, you got me good. Now it's my turn."

Laney prepared himself for his crack at the Dean of SEC coaches at which point Richt would say, "Welcome to the league, Junior, you can have the duck!" and Richt walked away.

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